When "Being Real" Became the Trend

From trauma dumps on TikTok to Instagram captions that read like diary entries, the digital age has entered a strange new phase: The Oversharing Era. What was once considered too personal is now public content. But beneath the filters of “just being real,” we must ask—are we truly healing or just coping out loud?

What Is Oversharing?

Psychologically, oversharing refers to revealing more personal information than is socially appropriate in a given context. According to Dr. Ramani Durvasula (clinical psychologist), oversharing is often driven by an unmet emotional need, like validation, connection, or approval.

In the online world, it’s often disguised as “vulnerability,” but it’s important to ask:
Is it connection, or is it performance?

The Psychology Behind the Posts

Dopamine + Disclosure = The Overshare Loop

Every like, comment, and message in response to a vulnerable post gives us a dopamine hit. Neuroscience researcher Dr. Andrew Huberman explains that the anticipation of social feedback online activates reward pathways, making vulnerability addictive.

Trauma Dumping vs. Emotional Expression

A 2022 study in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking found that people who frequently posted about trauma did not necessarily report better emotional regulation—in fact, they often had higher stress levels and lower perceived support offline.

The Hidden Costs of Sharing Too Much

1. False Intimacy
   People feel connected to you—but only in pixels. Offline bonds remain underdeveloped, leading to emotional dissonance.
2. Emotional Burnout
   Constant vulnerability, especially without reciprocity, leads to exhaustion. Not everyone is emotionally equipped to carry digital confessions.
3. Privacy Regret
   According to a Pew Research Center report (2023), nearly 35% of social media users regret sharing something too personal online. And once it’s out there, it’s not yours anymore.
4. Identity Fusion
   When our pain becomes our brand, we struggle to grow beyond it. Vulnerability turns into a performance we can't stop playing.

When Vulnerability Becomes a Brand

The internet loves a “raw” moment—ugly crying selfies, mental health check-ins, or exposing toxic relationships. While it feels like connection, it often leads to performative healing, where the goal becomes applause instead of actual growth.

As Brené Brown puts it:

“Vulnerability without boundaries is not vulnerability.”

The Cultural Push: Why Everyone's Doing It

• TikTok therapy culture encourages trauma transparency.
• "Hot takes" culture rewards confession over contemplation.
• Mental health awareness (a good thing!) often blurs into self-exposure for clout.

But are we confusing self-awareness with self-broadcast?

So… Is Oversharing Always Bad?

Not necessarily. Vulnerability can build real connections—if it’s intentional, reciprocal, and safe.

• Sharing in safe spaces (like therapy or trusted friendships) supports healing.
• Sharing with the internet as your therapist? Not so much.

So What Can We Do Instead?

• Pause Before Posting – Ask: Am I sharing to express or to impress?
• Heal Offline – Therapy, journaling, or intimate conversations still matter.
• Share With Boundaries – You don’t owe the internet your every scar.
• Practice Mindful Expression – Vulnerability is a gift, not content.

Literature + Thought Leaders to Explore

• Dr. Brené Brown – Researcher on vulnerability and shame; her TED Talk is one of the most-watched ever.
• Sherry Turkle, author of Alone Together, explores how tech is changing human intimacy.
• Dr. Anita Sanz, clinical psychologist, discusses how oversharing is often a trauma response masked as openness.

Conclusion: Healing Isn’t Always a Hashtag

In the oversharing era, being vulnerable online can feel empowering. But real healing isn’t loud, constant, or crowd-sourced. Sometimes, it’s silent. Sometimes, it’s sacred. And sometimes, the most powerful thing you can say is… nothing at all.