Dating

The Quiet Violence of Normalized Coercion

My first club experience, at the age of 19, involved a man who still forms part of my blocked contact list. We're going to call him "Chris" for my own sanity...

fentse_writes 6 min read · 2 days ago

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My first club experience, at the age of 19, involved a man who still forms part of my blocked contact list. We're going to call him "Chris" for my own sanity and we're also going to ignore the fact that he was in his thirties. We met at Pablo EscoBar in Hatfield and after a short conversation, he asked for my numbers.

I wasn't aware of his exact age at that point, but a part of me obviously knew that he was older. One drink turned into three but I was still "careful" enough to hold myself together. Towards the end, my current ex friend convinced me to leave with him. She was also leaving with her own Chris. It was going to be fun, it was going to be okay, and we were going to share each other's locations.

I wasn't thinking. She wasn't thinking.

We were placing our lives in the hands of literal strangers.

As we were driving to the place he had booked, I felt a mixture of the most unsettling feelings. I was scared and foolish, though I refused to let the alcohol become an excuse for the foolishness I felt. I was in the middle of nowhere, being driven by someone I didn't know, and I desperately needed to leave.