In case you're wondering, yes friendship breakups are a real thing. This might sound absurd or impossible to believe for some people, especially those who have been in the most long standing and amazing friendships. Congratulations if you are in this category, sincerely. However, for some other individuals who have experienced the pain of losing a true friendship, you can most certainly agree that the heartbreak is incomparable and impossible to forget.
Friendship breakups are often less talked about, but this does not reduce the measure of the pain nor heartache that comes with it. There's a deep level of vulnerability and trust associated with a friendship that cannot be replaced. Ever. There are so many people who trust their friends and would always provide unwavering loyalty, much more than they would to a romantic partner.
Remember friendship is a two-way street, it's like give and take. But what happens when you lose it all in one day?
Here are five (5) painful truths about friendship breakups everyone should know about:
1. Friendship breakups don't come with warning labels. There's usually no signals, most times there's not even closure. Sometimes it's like a slow fade and other times boom, like a lightning flash. The point is you hardly ever see it coming but when it comes, it hits you like a ton of bricks and runs you over.
2. Friendship breakups would make you question yourself, A LOT!
You would find yourself asking so many questions but getting answers to none. "Where did it all go wrong?" "Am I overreacting or are my feelings valid?" "How did I miss the signs?" "Do I have a bad character?" Like puzzle pieces that don't fit, you'll be left with so many "what ifs" and "whys" on things you think you should have done better.
3. Friendship breakups would feel like Grief. Just like with any other loss, you'll feel the pain of letting go of something special, something you once held in great reverence. It would be like grieving someone who is still alive but no longer exists in your life. It could also feel like grieving a part of you that has been lost and never getting it back. It's a different kind of pain.
4. Friendship breakups would never be understood by other people.
They just would not get it! Unlike romantic relationship breakups, people don't have a manual on how to navigate the aftermath of a broken friendship. This is very particular especially if they have never been in a similar situation.
A lot of people just shrug it off like it's nothing and try to console you with mere words like "oh! people grow apart, just get over it" or "It was a fake friendship anyway, don't feel bad" and so many other stuffs like that. They never truly get it because from their perspective, it just does not seem real enough to cause complications.
5. Friendship breakups may never erase or change your love for them.
This is the hardest part because a part of you still loves them, a part of you still misses them, a part of you still wishes for the version of them you formed a friendship with. sometimes it would feel like you want to take back all those years, and sometimes you would find yourself smiling at the fond memories you created. It's a roller-coaster of emotions. what's scary? a part of you might never stop loving them.
The real truth is Friendship breakups are a quiet kind of breakup, noiseless but heart shattering. But another truth remains that you can grieve, and you can definitely move on. Remember two truths can exist at the same time and you can allow yourself to breathe.
Just breathe.
Written by Oma Nwaeze.
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